2014. október 20., hétfő

we were in woodstock on saturday with D.
i love him so fucking much.

2014. október 14., kedd

looking up at the stars, hoping there is something more

Sometimes you feel nothing happens in the way you want it. Things fall apart, you fall apart and then end up as a mess, excluded from society, from a group of people, and start to see yourself as an outcast. I used to do that, even now. I see people from a different perspective, thinking that I am totally alone. It feels like living in a shell, looking at people without being noticed, and realizing that their thoughts differ from mine.

Constant humiliation, dissapointment, disenchantment, tearing dreams apart. That what university consist of.
I am depressed sometimes.
Det kommer att sluta. Jag vet inte när.

At least, my personal life goes on well. My boyfriend is the strongest supporter, I have friends, new ones, old ones, people are changing. I have lost those ones that I needed to, and realized who is worth caring about and who isn't. Times are changing and we have to understand what is really important in our life, and what should be finally deleted.

I am emotionally tired a bit.

Otherwise, I went out with my new so called always-there person tonight. She is just like me and won't stop speaking, which is satisfying.

2014. október 13., hétfő

only negative things have happened to me lately
i have enough of school after six weeks
i want to get high and forget about things for a while

2014. október 5., vasárnap

One thought in my head only: him.

Strange and surprising, though. How come, that we get on so well and feel ourselves like the one half and the other, creating a whole this way? I never want this to end. It scares me a bit, though, to feel this vulnerable, lost in the pink fog. At the same time I feel that nothing bad could ever happen and ruin our faultless image of perfection.